i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
