using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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