I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
