the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize