just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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