You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I want her autograph on my taint
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
