You just made me feel so damn special
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
