nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
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you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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