god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
