that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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