How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's like iHOP with fire
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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