I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how drunk are you?
Several
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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