Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
