Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
