He disabled his match.com account in front of me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
