You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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