It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
