I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
