Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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