Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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