there was a trapeze. enough said
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
