That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
