last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
