So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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