We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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