You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
