i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize