im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize