The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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