I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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