i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
