So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
