I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
