So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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