So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
