so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
