Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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