Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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