i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize