OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize