WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT