Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?