I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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