i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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