so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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