wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
