i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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