I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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