Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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