last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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