dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
