well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
