I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
