I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
