So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
