I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
