he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize