i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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