boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
