This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
