So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm bleeding and have questions
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
