waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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