She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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