Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
