Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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