Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
