I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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